Don Goldberg Went Down to Hampshire

(1980, to the tune of The Devil Went Down to Georgia)

Don Goldberg went down to Hampshire, he was looking for a cube to steal.
He was in a bind 'cause he was way behind in getting his own from Ideal.
When he saw this short young singer working a cube and turning it hot,
Old Don sat down on a natural log and said, "Kid let me tell you what:

Now I bet you didn't know, but I'm a Rubik solver too.
And if you care to take a dare, I'll make a bet with you.
Now you can do that cube good, boy, but give Don Goldberg his due.
I'll prove the Axiom of Choice against your voice 'cause I know I'm taller than you."

Then the kid said, "My name's Rennie and I just love to sing.
So I'll take you on, Old Derg Bon Bon 'cause my proofs have a bogus ring."

Rennie, you loosen up your cube and switch those corners fast,
'Cause Don is down at Hampshire and you know he's bound to last.
Now if you win, you'll see a proof of the Axiom of Choice,
But if you loose Don Goldberg gets your voice.

(Kazoo)

Then Old Don took out his cube and said, "I'll start this show."
And fire flew from his fingertips as he interchanged a row.
As he moved a piece across the cube, it made an evil hiss.
And a band of yellow pigs joined in and sounded something like this:

(Kazoo)

Now when Don finished, Rennie said, "Look here, I'm from New York,
So sit back on that log right there, this proof gets yellow chalk!"

Write a program in APL...
Ask Beach for help, he knows it well, hehehehehehehehe...
Theorem on the blackboard, prove, prove, prove...
This boy's gonna solve the Rubik's Cube...

(Kazoo)

Now Old Don bowed his bald head 'cause he knew that he'd been beat.
And he laid the proof of the theorem on the ground by Rennie's feet.
And Rennie sang, "Don, you just come on back if you ever want to try anew. 'Cause I told you once, you Reagan Freak, I'm a better singer than you!"

(Kazoo)

Write a program in APL...
Ask Beach for help, he knows it well, hehehehehehehehe...
Theorem on the blackboard, prove, prove, prove...
This boy's gonna solve the Rubik's Cube...